I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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