Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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