i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How external is "for external use only"?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
