Your dad touched me again.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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