he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
