i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I need to stop coming to work sober
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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