The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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