i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
