I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The air was thick with penises
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
