I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
