Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I deserve this hangover.
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