Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
