Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
