just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize