Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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