Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
