i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Drunk is not a location!
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