Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
