Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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