I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
