A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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