it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Need sex. Gaining weight.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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