just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
