accomplished twins. life is a go
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize