worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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