But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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