she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
