"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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