I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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