i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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