His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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