We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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