oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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