Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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