They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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