Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
