3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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