hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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