I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
