i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
