The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
How's work?
Spinning.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
