You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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