i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
