the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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