he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Rumble strips road head = magical
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
All I want is dick and wine.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
