i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize