is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
and she was petting her beer can
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
