we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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