apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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