2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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