Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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