So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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