butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
