I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize