I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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