i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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