I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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