I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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