Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
