when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
