her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
